5 ridiculous ways to kill bugs this summer
Bugs are the worst! They buzz, they sting, they bite, and they totally give us the creeps. We’ll do almost anything to get rid of them and this desperate desire for a bug-free lifestyle has led us to the invention of some fantastically zany anti-insect gadgets.
This list of bizarre bug weapons will have you battling back against mosquitoes, flies, and spiders with renewed vigour this summer. Will they actually bring you victory? Who knows. But you’ll have a blast waging the war.
1. BUG ZAPPING RACKET
It’s basically a fly swatter with the added bonus of electricity and a fun, sporty theme. Two AA batteries and a forceful topspin will deliver a lethal message to those mosquitoes and flies. The downside? Electrocution (even of pesky insects) is kind of a bummer around a campfire.
2. FLYGUN
If you hate getting too close to the buzzing pests you want to exterminate, this is the weapon for you. The fly gun is a spring-loaded device that shoots a spinning plastic disc into the air. It’s supposed to kill flies and mosquitoes without all the unpleasant squishing of a swatter. Will it actually work? Well, everything rests on the strength of your aim, so after a few beers you’re probably more likely to hit disgruntled cottage guests and nonplussed family pets than tiny bugs.
3. BUGZOOKA
This bug vacuum belongs on the list for the goofy name alone! The Bugzooka operates without any batteries, instead relying on a strong puff of air created by releasing a spring resistant bellows. Despite its simplicity it supposedly has 10x the suction power of comparable devices. Although you could attempt to get close enough to flies or mosquitoes to suck them up, the Bugzooka is really designed for creepy crawlies like ants and spiders. The best part is that the vacuum doesn’t actually kill the bugs, so you can make the final decision whether to puff them back outside where they belong, or deposit them in a watery grave (the toilet).
4. BUG A SALT
Let’s be honest, this mini shotgun with exaggerated pump action is an excuse to play rogue assassin, not a practical bug-killing machine. Bizarrely, it fires table salt, which supposedly stuns menacing bugs on impact, stopping them in their tracks. You may well hit a few, but you’ll probably make a mess along the way.
5. TALKING BUG ZAPPER
This vintage treasure (circa 2008) may be hard to find, but if you can get your hands on one, it will add a hysterically melodramatic flair to your bug zapping adventures. It’s basically an old-fashioned bug zapper that immortalizes fallen bugs through 15 classic phrases like “that’s gonna leave a mark” and “goodbye cruel world!”. There’s definitely a drinking game in there somewhere.
This article was written for Cottage Life by Jennifer Bragg.
