Groundhog Day still matters, so put your grievances aside
Groundhog Day is not some flu-induced hallucination. Its origins go back to medieval Europe – be thankful it was this tradition that made it across the Atlantic and not the torture techniques. The first recorded mention of Groundhog Day in North America comes from a shopkeeper’s diary in 1841, over 180 years ago. That means Groundhog Day has seen Canadians through two world wars, one Great Depression and all 20 seasons of the Kardashians.
Despite this staying power, some people question whether a rodent can accurately predict the weather. Most cite items like “science” and “historical records” as evidence that groundhogs have no idea when spring is coming. In scientific terms, these people are called party-poopers.
On February 2, we don’t know if the dollar will be down or really far down. But as a collective we fervently believe this: a groundhog, also known as a woodchuck, will tell us how many weeks are left until spring.
On that day, that’s exactly what we will ask of Wiarton Willie, Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil, Nova Scotia’s Shubenacadie Sam and Staten Island’s Chuck in New York.
Consider: Research by the University of Scranton shows that New Year’s resolutions only come true eight per cent of the time, and yet every January we still believe in them.
The truth is, in the depths of winter, Canadians need to believe in something. Sure, the groundhog is basically a beaver that can’t swim. But at least groundhogs didn’t sell out to Roots.
WATCH BELOW: THE CREATURE THAT HELPED GIVE WHISTLER, B.C. ITS NAME
The great thing about Groundhog Day is there are so many ways to celebrate it. For meteorologists, it’s a well-earned day of deflecting attention. For celebrity Bill Murray, it’s a means to salvation. For groundhogs, it’s likely the only day of the year when they’re guaranteed to own the local watering hole.
If you’re looking for numbers to back up the predictive powers of groundhogs, try this one: pre-Covid, roughly 40,000 people would come out for Punxsutawney Phil’s party every February 2nd. Is the promise of a weather prediction any less reasonable than the promises made to lure you to other parties? That you’ll have a good time, won’t eat the entire chip bowl, and will leave at a reasonable hour?
Canadians should count ourselves lucky, being able to stand back and let a rodent decide our seasonal fate. Imagine how much better the world would be if every woodland creature agreed to take on just a bit more responsibility. We could sure all breathe easier if we knew rabbits were monitoring ocean temperatures and foxes were keeping an eye on privacy breaches.
Sure, Wiarton could try to up its game by substituting a smarter animal – perhaps a porpoise. But the minute you bring one of those on stage, PETA comes calling. In these tough economic times, only a truly heartless person would deny groundhogs their one day of work. If anything, after loyally serving us for over 180 years, groundhogs deserve a promotion.
GURU OF FRAUD: INVESTIGATING GROUNDHOGS
This article originally ran on Feb. 2, 2016, and has been updated.